Our Story

Jorgen

Often the most beautiful things emerge from the strangest of circumstances. The fact that Kara and I are getting married is evidence of God's wisdom, irony and passion for His people. It is a case of the transcendent God condescending to an undeserving man and blessing him unimaginably. Starting at the beginning of the story would take much too much space, so I will begin in 2011.

In theory, Kara and I probably should have met much sooner. Only, we kept inadvertently avoiding each other by flying across the country. This pattern kept up for more than two years. Of all of the places for a girl raised in West Virginia and educated in Pennsylvania to land, Monterey, California cannot be high on the list. It is a rather small city without much renown, but it had a good physical therapy clinic with a far-reaching internship program; this fact alone was enough to entice this second-of-eight to venture thousands of miles away from home to begin her professional career. I, on the other hand, was following an established family tradition by being the fifth consecutive child to embark on higher-education in the windy city.

Kara began her internship within weeks of me having left to return to school in August 2011, and soon began attending the church that my father pastors. However, by the time I returned in December she had already flown away again. Thankfully, she returned to work full time in May of 2012, unfortunately I stayed in Chicago for the summer and would only return at Christmas, during the exact two weeks that she was vacationing in West Virginia.

These unintentional delays in meeting one-another proved to be absolutely vital in preparing both of us to be in the perfect place when we eventually met each other on a fateful night in 2013, October 11.

God had been using our different experiences in new places to shape us, humble us, and show us the weakness of our flesh and proneness to pride. We needed to learn afresh (and continually, I might add) that our worth and identity is founded on God's word and His love. By going through various trials and missteps in the preceding months and years God had been refining Kara and I and preparing each other for the meeting of a lifetime.

Somehow, before I went back to school a brief three months later we both felt a deep sense of connection and a deeper (unspoken) hope that maybe this was the one. In Kara I felt fairly certain that this was her, "at last." But, I thought it best to return to Chicago and school to see if the feelings might wear off: they didn't. We began talking and listening to each other over the next few months and were amazed at the ways our stories and experiences aligned, while being able to notice distinct strengths in the ways we are different. We connected over games, racquetball, books, Scripture and core values, to name a few.

I accepted an internship back in California for the summer and our joint story (and future) began to grow legs. We spent lots of time hanging out, reading, and going an adventures with friends, all while growing in closeness and confidence that God was bringing our hearts together before His throne.

When I returned to Chicago for work, I immediately moved ahead with plans for the big question. I settled on October 11, 2014. Kara's birthday, and the anniversary of our first meeting.

Kara said "definitely."

We quickly moved ahead with picking a date, and putting things together for our new life. One that we hope will be honoring and faithful to God as we honor and show faithfulness to each other.

We hope that you can join us in Chicago on May 30th. But more importantly, we hope that you can join our story as we look to life beyond that momentous day.

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Kara:

The Proposal

Jorgen is one of the most thoughtful and intentional people I have ever met. His intentionality and attention to detail make me feel so overwhelmingly loved and cared for. He takes note not only of big things, but also of little things. Once, when we had first started dating, he picked me up in the car and the radio was tuned to a country music station. Knowing he usually didn't listen to music, I asked why the radio was on and commented on it being a country station. He blushed a little and told me that he wanted to know and understand me better. I grinned at the idea that he could know me better by hearing songs about tractors, creeks, and running barefoot, but acknowledged that there may be some truth in that and deeply appreciated the gesture. Though this is one of the more trivial examples, this thoughtfulness has been repeated many times and in many different ways.

My birthday this past year was one such example. Even if Jorgen had not proposed, it still would have been the best birthday I've ever had because of all the small ways he made me feel loved. The fact that he confessed his love for me and asked me to marry him made it not just the best birthday I could imagine, but the best day of my life.

On my birthday, we had a double need for celebration. Not only was it my birthday, it was also the 7 month anniversary of our first date. Jorgen suggested that we get dressed up and go to a Broadway in Chicago production of Amazing Grace. I had only been to children's plays and one small production in Monterey (as our 3 month anniversary date), but had never been to a big production. I was very excited and happily agreed to his plan as well as to his request that I plan nothing else for the day, but give the entire day to him.

We decided to begin the birthday celebration early, and went out to a 24 hour diner a bit past midnight on October 11. Jorgen prayed before our meal, and as he prayed, he thanked God for me and for having met me exactly a year prior. I sat there quickly backtracking in my mind to my last birthday and realized he was right! We had met on my birthday! Though I definitely remember meeting him, I had forgotten the day was my birthday. It had fallen on a Friday and Friday nights were Bible study nights at church. Though to me, it was no big deal that that day was my birthday, it was something he noticed and remembered. I was touched that he remembered this and when I thought back later, it made it all that much more significant that he chose this day to propose marriage to me.

After we went out for my birthday kickoff dinner, we dropped by the grocery store. We got chocolate milk and had a glass before Jorgen left my apartment with a promise to return for breakfast. I loved the special feeling that he wanted to spend as much of the day as possible with me. The next morning, I buzzed him in and he came up the stairs with an éclair with candles in it! Again, I felt overwhelmingly cared for. He had even thought of what to do for breakfast and had made it special with candles! We had coffee and éclair for breakfast then Jorgen left again to prepare for our date. I danced happily around my apartment while getting ready myself. He had said to dress up, and I loved the chance to dress up for him. When he came back to pick me up, we froze and stared at each other for a moment. He looked fantastic and I thought about how blessed I was to be the object of the care and attention of this wonderful man.

We parked a bit away from the play and walked to get there. He said we'd walk a scenic route on the way back to the car. I later found that this was part of the plan and that where we went was not actually the way back to the car. Being new to the city (and being completely content to hold his hand and go wherever he led me), he could have pointed any direction and said it was the way to the car and I would have gone along with it without a question.

The play was so good! It was fun and exciting! Even more than that though, I loved being there next to my favorite person, sharing in this experience. I loved sitting next to him and seeing how he reacted to different parts of the play. I loved talking about the play together afterwards. After the play, we walked "the long way back to the car" along the lake front. It was gorgeous. I was wearing heels, however, and as we were walking a good deal, my feet were getting a little tired. I didn't want to complain about this, partly because I am not a complainer and partly because I believe if you choose to wear something to look nice you give up your right to complain about it. But, I had no idea when we'd stop walking and I saw a bench. I asked if maybe we should sit for a minute. Jorgen said, "Let's not, we're almost there." Weird. I decided to ignore the weirdness of this and was soon forgetting about the discomfort of prolonged walking in heels and was lost instead in conversation with Jorgen.

As I mentioned earlier, this day was also our 7 month anniversary. So, we began talking of our relationship and how things were. This was our usual pattern on anniversary dates and a pattern I enjoyed. But still, every time we talked about our relationship, my heart would race and I'd wonder what I might be doing wrong. It's a scary thing to walk along next to someone (or to sit next to them) and to talk about your faults or theirs, especially not knowing if they love you. Jorgen does a fantastic job of steering conversations though and of allaying my fears and he told me that having me in Chicago was for him further confirmation of our relationship as he saw me integrate into a new place and get involved in the church and love those around me. Soon we came to a beach. Jorgen told me that since it was my birthday and I love beaches he had decided to take me to the beach (my nearly constant suggestion of what to do in Monterey was to go to the beach, no matter how chilly it was outside). I wasn't sure how one was supposed to properly enjoy the beach in a fancy dress and heels, but decided one should pretend one was not wearing anything out of the ordinary and I walked out onto the beach with Jorgen.

We walked down a path and into the sand and I stood looking out over the water, feeling the wind on my face and wondering again how to properly enjoy the beach. Jorgen placed his hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him and saying he had another reason for bringing me there. As I finished turning toward him, he dropped down onto his knee, spoke my name, told me that he loved me, and asked if I would marry him. I was overjoyed. He had never said he loved me before. I had felt that he loved me, but had never heard it. To know it was true and that he did love me, that he was choosing to love me, and that he wanted to spend his life with me was wonderful. I grinned with love and delight and said I would definitely marry him. Most definitely. Jorgen is my best friend and is the love of my life. As I assented, he placed a ring on my finger. He had made reservations at a nice restaurant at the top of a nearby skyscraper and there we celebrated our engagement together. People say that it takes a week or so to get used to wearing a ring. This was not so for me. My heart is his and my finger was well aware of this. Since the moment he put it on, my finger feels naked and bare without its ring as it reminds me constantly of his pledge of love and constancy and reminds me that soon we will be pledging our lives to one another before God and beginning life as no longer two but one.

Jorgen encourages me in my walk with God in so many ways. He does this both purposefully and accidentally. I am encouraged by his words, by his example, by his love, and by his very existence in my life. To have found someone like Jorgen who is so intentional in his love for me and in his love for God, reminds me of God's love and grace toward me. Jorgen loves me and seeks always to love me better and his love makes me feel stronger and more capable but it also makes me feel more vulnerable, reminding me that I am not invincible. His strengths remind me of my weaknesses and encourage me to continue to strive to be better and to grow into the woman God has called me to be. His reliance on God reminds me of my own reliance on God. And his failings show me my own failings, teach me grace, and teach me more about God's grace.

I love Jorgen more each and every day and am eagerly counting down the days till when we pledge our lives to each other before God and our friends and family.

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