Advice From A Father To A Son YOUR LIFE IS IN GOD'S HANDS BUT YOU MUST DO YOUR SHARE

(below was sent to Jerry following the resolution.)

Jerry, we thank God that you were allowed to remain in a position where you can continue to hug and love your daughter, to provide her a home with a loving mother and father. We thank Him that you may continue to grow in the learning of things that will enable you to provide for and protect the economic future of your family. We thank Him for allowing you to continue to live in relative freedom as opposed to the terrible ordeal of prison life. You should make it a ritual that every day, as you awake to the joys of a new day, you will thank God for your blessings and ask him to help you do the things that day that will assure you of keeping your newly won freedom.

My philosophy has always been that life is what you make it. We usually have little control over the hand dealt to us. We have control only on how we play the hand. We can brood and decry and look for the negative aspects of our life while wasting the potential joy of the boundless blessings God has given us. In political campaigns the popular slogan has been, "It's the economy, Stupid". In life, the truth is, "It's in the mind, Stupid". Some people call it mental toughness. You've got it. But like all great God given talents, you must practice and exercise it to make it grow. The morning ritual of daily prayer will re-enforce your mental toughness. Concentrate on the positive. Concentrate on doing the things that will make you grow mentally and physically. Concentrate on enjoying today's blessings and doing the things today that make you and your family happy. Plan and work toward the future, but not at the expense of ceasing to live for today.

You have been spared the prison of four walls and separation from those you love. We all have prisons of our own. We all have limitations placed on us as to what we can do. Some of those limitations we place on ourselves, either consciously or unknowingly. Some were placed on us by God when he endowed us with our individual mental and physical abilities. Some are placed on us by injuries or sickness that befall us. As I was growing up I sometimes felt sorry for myself because of the restrictions my eyes placed on me. However, I always was able to fight off the self-pity, forget my restrictions, and become enveloped in those things which I could do.

Many restrictions are placed on us by family environment, by society's mores, and by society's laws. For the next two years, you have had placed on you additional restrictions to your freedom. But compared to what could have been, your freedom remains boundless. You must use all the power of your mental toughness to protect this blessed freedom by always abiding by the restrictions upon which it was granted. Do not jeopardize your freedom by even the least deviation from imposed restrictions. Learn to enjoy and be thankful for the freedom within restrictions that you have won., and know that these restrictions are very temporary. Two years seems like a long time when living for the moment and looking toward the future. Looking back in time, two years is but a brief interlude. You can use that time wisely by continuing your education to the goal of, at the end of that two years, having won the ability to get a really good job you like doing. In the meantime, keep busy by going to school, by studying, by finding a job and working, and by loving and enjoying your family at home and the time will have gone by before you know it.

Thank God for what you have. Read your bible. Go to church if you can. Continue to pray without ceasing. Keep your mind ever open to see the opportunities in which you can serve God with what you do or say in your life. (over--->)

Take care of your mind and body, particularly during these next two years of special restrictions. One good reason to get a job in addition to going to school is that this will provide almost more opportunity than you can handle for mental and physical activity. Remember, "It's all in the mind, Stupid". You also should know, however, that the mind, no matter how strong it may be, is subject to disruption and decay by the chemistry the body imposes on it. Regular, physical activity pumps invigorating chemicals into the mind. Proper nourishment keeps the mind and mood acute and optimistic. Sunlight and brightness are essential to retard the bad chemistry of darkness and depression that will otherwise enter.

If you develop habits, let them be good ones. Now is the best time to work on the bad ones. Do not let today's limitations be an excuse to put off trying to break those bad habits. You know that smoking has been the death sentence to millions of people. It has been the death sentence to some of my own family and to some of the friends I loved. We are watching now almost without hope as our friend Jeff faces what appears to be a certain and painful death from smoking induced lung cancer. But whether or not to quit smoking must be your choice. You must have the desire to do it and then the mental attitude to make it happen.

I see nothing wrong with enjoying drinking a beer or two to relax at the end of a long day. But guard against drinking more than that. Just as smoking becomes as much of a nervous habit of the need to have something like a cigarette in your hand, drinking also becomes a nervous habit. So continue to drink a lot, it's good for you. But drink water, or coke, and best of all, orange juice or tomato juice instead of that third or fourth beer. Keep orange juice and tomato juice in your refrigerator always and develop the habit of drinking those for breakfast and to indulge an evening thirst. The message here is that one of the ways bad habits can be broken is to replace them with good ones. Never, ever drink more than two beers if you might need to drive anywhere in the next few hours.

I believe you have wisely already set long term goals. You need also to set short term goals. Today I will or will not do such and such. By the end of this month, I will have ...., you get the idea. You will often not reach these goals, but just because you miss a goal of today that you set, do not let that prevent you from setting a new goal for tomorrow. Pretty soon, reaching those short term goals will become more the rule than the exception. Try to be pleasant when you first awake to a new day.

Know that you are loved by your family and that they have faith in you. Call on them and on God when you need encouragement. Face every day as a challenge to do good and know in your heart that you will succeed.

Love, DAD

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